Week #10
Ships At Night
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“Hi” I called out tentatively.
“Hi, how are you?” Oppa’s deep and husky voice responded, as he stepped out of the shadows near the trees.
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“I’m good… actually I’m kinda excited... I’m really hoping I can catch a glimpse of the meteor shower tonight.”
“Oh.. I had forgotten. You told me it peaks tonight, didn’t you?”
“Yes. The moon should set in the next few minutes. Then we get the darkest hour before the sun rise when the shooting stars are easiest to see.”
The little stream beside the path made bubbling sounds. During day time I never hear it because of the continuous buzz of noises that came from the surrounding neighborhood. But right now, the world was mostly asleep. Only a couple of owls exchanging messages broke the melody of the bubbling stream. I’ve always loved how the darkness of the night muted the stark reminder of the human footprint on earth. How it muffled all the noises and brought calm and peace. It gave me a moment to collect my thoughts and find my place in life, each night.
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“So, how was your day?” Oppa asked.
“It was normal. Two steps forward, one and a half back. This is why I hate the corporate world. there’s so little logic and so much politics. It takes four times the effort to get the tiniest thing done.”
“Doesn’t sound like a particularly good day.”
“I shouldn’t complain. It’s not like I’m new to this life. I’ve done this for over a decade now. But it’s so frustrating still.”
“What exactly happened today?”
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“So, we finally have agreement to move forward with the climate risk study. This study will create the planning foundation for the entire electric industry. We can finally do away with all the pretext about how we can’t operate the system reliably without coal and gas and oil and we can layout the plan on how we can go carbon negative. This will change the tone of the industry, especially if we do the study and publish it with our company name.”
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“All that sounds like forward progress. What has you frustrated then?”
“It was my assignment. But George wants to lead it, now that we have the buy-in to do the work.”
“So he’s trying to take your baby at work?”
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“Something like that… the thing is, I’d be ok to have him lead if he wasn’t so backwards thinking.”
“What do you mean he’s backwards thinking?”
“He still thinks we can’t operate the system completely with renewables and zero emission sources. So if he leads the study we’ll once again lose the chance to clean up the fleet and champion the new direction.”
“Is that really the end of the world?”
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“Quite literally, yes. Because if we don’t change our industry mindset quickly we’ll be too late to reverse climate change and if we can’t do that then the earth has zero chance of being habitable for very long.”
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He watched my face for a long moment with his head tilted to the side, like he was trying to put a puzzle together. The longer he watched my face the more I felt the tips of my ears burning.
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“Stop looking at me like that. I already know how silly it is to get all worked up about office politics.”
“I don’t think it’s silly. If anything, it’s nice to see someone with big dreams and conviction in what they do.” With that he reached out to slip his hand in mine, the warmth and pressure a whisper of a memory.
“You really don’t think I’m being overly sensitive?”
“No, you need to do what you believe in. If you think leading this study is an important part of your plan to save the world, then you have to fight for the right to lead the study.”
“You make it sound so simple. This is why I need you to be the voice in my head, always. It’s easy to see my path when you are there.”
“You’ve always known your path, hon. You just sometimes need a bit of strength to act upon it. That’s all.”
“Hmm…”
“You’ve always said you want to live a life without regrets. If you let George take this work, it sounds like you’ll regret it. So, you really only have one choice.”
“Hmmm…” We walked a few minutes hand in hand, enjoying the comfortable silence, until we were in a clearing where a wide swath of the sky opened up. “This looks like a good spot to catch a glimpse of the shooting stars.”
“We can try. But the light pollution from the city lights are a bit much to see the stars very clearly out here.”
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“I know. Next meteor shower we can try a real dark sky spot.”
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“Sounds like a plan. One day we'll go to Chile and visit Cerro Paranal.” He agreed while continuing to hold my hand and gazing up at the sky.
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“So, how was your day today?” I asked.
“Routine. Still prepping for the events coming up. Nothing special really.”
“That’s right. D-day is just 17 days away. Will it be big?”
“Hmm… We’ll celebrate it properly. You’ll see.” His smiling, twinkling eyes never failed to make my heart skip a few beats. “Looks, there’s a shooting star.”
By the time I turned to look it had passed. Though I stayed focused I never caught sight of any shooting stars. Half hour later it was time to call it a night. We walked back hand in hand to make it home.
“Do you ever wonder whether the things we do day to day will make a difference in the long run?” Stargazing always made me wonder about our place in the grand scheme of time and space and history.
“What do you mean? Like what’s the legacy we leave behind?”
“Exactly. Maybe for you it’s clear because… well, a billion people will remember you and your career. They love you, look up to you and follow your lead. So, maybe you can pretty much make whatever you want to be your legacy. You can be like Audrey Hepburn and be an icon of philanthropy or go into politics like Ronald Reagan and be a peacekeeper or pretty much anything else you like to be remembered by. But for regular people like me, what will my legacy be when all my days are added up?”
“I don’t think I’ve given enough conscious thought on what I want my legacy to be. I’ve always made plans just to get to the next step in my career and all my philanthropic work is just things that matter to me personally. But as long as we are still alive, you and I both have a choice in what we want our legacy to be.”
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“Do we? It sometimes feels like only the privileged and the ruthless can leave a lasting legacy. Not so much the average people like me.”
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“I think we all leave our mark. We just have to choose what we want it to be and work hard for it. At least, we have to try.” Oppa confirmed before letting go of my hand. He placed a quick kiss on my cheek and waved a good bye before melting back into the shadows he had come from.
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With that I put down the pen and closed my journal for one more day. It was time to get some rest. I had to fight for the climate study tomorrow.